With some free time in July, I finally watched 13 Reasons Why. My 15-year-old son watched the series when it came out in the spring, and I was interested in discussing the series and the controversy surrounding it with him.
One of the concerns that arose was that mental health was not addressed strongly enough, and mental health resources were not provided within the story. I am not a mental health expert by any means so I will not address that concern. My knowledge lies more in the area of relationships.
As I reflected on the series, my thoughts kept going back to something that Dr. William Glasser taught us so many years ago. The most important thing in your life, right now, is not your past and it’s not your future. It’s the relationships you have in your life right now.
Are those relationships supporting you in meeting your needs for belonging, freedom, power, fun, and survival? Or, are those relationships interfering with you meeting your needs?
Dr. Glasser said that having strong, healthy, positive relationships can help you overcome just about anything. Actually, it’s not relationships–it’s relationship. Just one strong, healthy, positive relationship can help pull you through. Just one.
Just one. That doesn’t seem so hard. Then why is it so hard?
Maybe it is because we are innately selfish creatures, we humans. Maybe we are typically worried about ourselves rather than each other? Worried about how we are feeling rather than how others feel. Worried about how something might impact us rather than how something is impacting someone else. Worried about our reputation, what people will think of us, rather than focusing on the person right in front of us. Do we focus on our preconceived notion of how things should be rather than figuring out how things actually are?
I know I am all of these things.
How do we overcome this selfishness?
We let go of ourselves sometimes. Let go of our preconceived notion of how things should be. Let go of worry about ourselves and focus on the person right in front of us. Seek to understand before seeking to be understood. Ask questions and really listen to the answers. Be there, physically and mentally.
Who is your one? Who provides that relationship that grounds you to the very core of who you are?
Who are you ‘the one’ for? Who do you support no matter what? Who do you try to empathize with, uplift, be with, completely understand?
All we need is one. All we need is one.
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