I got this feeling inside my bones…
Got that sunshine in my pocket…
I can’t stop the feeling, just dance dance dance
A friend sent me this song the day it came out, saying that it made her think of me. I loved it the minute I heard the first notes. It is exactly how I want to live my life…with sunshine in my pocket, dancing through just about everything I do. However, I feel the need to confess, this doesn’t always come naturally. In fact, sometimes it’s pretty darn hard to do.
My life, just like everyone else’s, is full of ups and downs. I have cried my share of tears and had more than my share of belly laughs. I decided long ago never to walk in anyone’s shadow…wait, that’s another song! Whoops! Actually, I decided long ago to try to be a ray of sunshine in the lives of others. I have a goal that when I walk into the room, it feels better because I am there. Does that always happen? Yeah, no. Do I keep trying every day? In the words of Sarah Palin, you betcha!
Why not share my grief with others? I probably could get lots of attention because misery loves company. But, I don’t want to take my crummy stuff out on the people around me. They have enough to go through without having me bring them down. Instead, I want to lift them up, help them feel stronger, help them look problems dead in the face and have confidence that they can conquer them. I cannot help others feel more positive if I am negative.
I have also found, when conducting my own non-scientific research, that problems feel huge when we are negative. They feel solvable when we are positive. I like solvable.
Language matters, so I try not to exaggerate or use big emotional words. When someone comes to me and says that people are saying something negative about me, it feels like the world is falling apart. When someone says this one person is saying something negative about me, I still don’t like it, but it feels much more under my control. Using words like always, worst, horrible, etc. get in the way of problem-solving rather than helping.
So, in summary, to keep that sunshine in my pocket, I…
…try not to take out a bad mood or my problems on others. That doesn’t mean that I don’t tell people about bad things in my life, it means I don’t act negative or take out my emotions on them.
…keep problems as solvable as possible by staying positive and getting to the root of the problem.
…am careful with language, so I don’t exaggerate. Using big emotional words or exaggerating the situation hurts problem-solving efforts.
Thank you Justin for another fantastic song. Let’s keep dancing!
Lyrics courtesy of Justin Timberlake Can’t Stop the Feeling and Whitney Houston The Greatest Love of All.